Today I Will Sew

Hello From Lockdown in Michigan

I know I don't need to say it, but surreal.  I came home from my week in Rye all inspired and ready to revamp my wardrobe and sew up the beautiful fabrics from Merchant and Mills and, wow, did everything go sideways.  For most of the last couple of weeks I haven't felt much like sewing.  You would think with all the time in the world, hanging around the house, but somehow it felt superfluous.  Like, who even knows if I have pants on in the first place!? 

But last week, I realized that, "I sew!" That's what I do.  It is how I meditate if you will.  I think we are all looking for things to help us stay calm and grounded in some way.  Some people have a long standing yoga or meditation practice to keep them centered.  Others may exercise or turn to their faith.  I sew.  It comes from a deep place inside me.  I like to think that it is my creative center.  The place that everything good in my life springs from.  When my center is calm and nourished, I can handle the craziness of the world.  I have turned to my sewing at other stressful times in my life, when things are out of my control and spiraling around me.  Making something, going through the process that I have done thousands of times, letting go of whatever else is going on and focusing on my work...meditating...

I have never sewn because I need to clothe myself.  I have clothes.  I sew because I need it for my spirit, to feed my soul.  And to stop now when my spirit is having such a struggle...well, it doesn't make sense.

So I have been going into my sewing room.  I have been working very, very slowly.  I have been noticing each seam, each dart.  Choosing patterns intentionally for their rhythm rather than their challenge.  Just trying to feel the flow of the process.  Allowing myself to be in the warmth of the creative moment.

Part of me has always felt like I need to 'apologize' for my 'trivial' hobby.  Somehow if I were painting or writing poetry it would be more meaningful, more 'soul-felt.'  But sewing is what I got!  It may seem trivial to the outside world, but it fills me in ways that keep me whole.  So I will unapologetically sew my way through this.  I will make things that I may never wear.  I will keep going to my sewing room and letting the touch of the fabrics calm me down.  I will watch winter turn into spring from the window behind my ironing table and be grateful for the work.

I am also grateful if you have been following this journey and have gotten a few moments of inspiration or calm or fun along the way.  To be able to connect with other sewers who get all geeky about perfect crotch curves or low bust adjustments brings me joy.  Even though I am sewing by myself in my room, I feel the collective hearts who have taught me, who have encouraged me, who appreciate the making, who have 'straightened my grain' when I needed it.

Please be well, and safe and go often to your place of solace...whether that is your yoga mat, your easel, your journal...or your sewing room.